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…the lighter side of National ServiceBy Michael JordanFood was often scarce, you often had to work guard detail on chilly nights and march in the blazing sun. But you made lifelong friends and there was a humorous side to the rigours of being a pioneer in the Guyana National Service.That was the period in Guyana when the slogan ‘every citizen a soldier’ was taken seriously in light of our territorial dispute with Venezuela. Young men and women enrolled in the Guyana National Service as a first step to a military career or to develop a skill.I was one of the hapless young men who enlisted, unsure at the time what career I wanted. We were first shipped off to Papaya Training Centre for a year of basic military training. There we gave up our ‘civvies’ for the ‘parrot green’ and white jerseys which was the National Service uniform.We soon got to know each other, mainly by nicknames. There was a skinny chap that we named ‘Geese’ because of his loud snoring; there was ‘Dread’, a Rastafarian; ’Fowl-cock’, who would clap his hands like wings and ‘crow’ like a rooster to wake up the barrack room; there was ‘Benjie’ (also known as ‘Kickers’ because he  landed on Papaya wearing a pair of ugly platform shoes, or ‘kickers,’ as we called them); there was  ’Old Face’, ‘Dutty Platoon’, ‘Dew Fish’, and ‘Jumbie Boor’. There was my friend ‘Eddie,’ who fell in love and got dumped so often that the guys made up a song about him (‘down in Papaya they got/ lots of pretty women/ steal Eddie’s money and break his heart..’) there was Sam, who didn’t know his right foot from his left (which meant that when everyone was marching left-right Sam would be going right-left)I was assigned to Mongoose Company and we were supervised by a Corporal named Shepherd. He was a loud-voiced individual who pretended to be more fearsome than he really was.MIDNIGHT P.T. WITH A DRUNKEN CORPORALBoys will be boys, and of course we would perform pranks on each other late into the night when we should have been resting for the next day of rigorous training.One night, Corporal Shepherd came in drunk after a visit to the staff club. He found most of us gallivanting and came up with the brilliant idea that he should take us for a midnight run.He lined us up outside the barrack-room, then led us on a run through a track around the training centre. At one point he tripped and fell flat on his face. Some of the pioneers laughed. This infuriated ‘Sheppy’,Wholesale MLB Jerseys, who made us run farther than he had intended.We had the last laugh, though. The following day, during the customary roll call on the drill square, Corporal ‘Sheppy’ was so hung over that his tongue got tied up trying to pronounce ‘Mongoose Company.’ (it came out as ‘Longoose Company’) A Sergeant Major we called ‘Chip Chip’ made him say it until he got it right.But if we thought we had it rough under ‘Sheppy’, we weren’t prepared for his replacement. This was Corporal Abel, a squatty,Cheap NFL Jerseys China, muscular man whose claim to fame was that he never smiled.Strange enough, this tough, unsmiling man was a Beatles and old Bee-Gees fan, who was always playing songs like ‘I started a joke’ or ‘The Sound of Silence’ and ‘Yellow Submarine.’Abel would wake us up before day-clean to wipe out the barrack-room,MLB Jerseys China, and he liked to dish out guard duty as punishment.But the pioneer ‘Benjie’,CHeap MLB Jerseys China, also called ‘Kickers’, seemed to relish getting on Abel’s bad side.It was Benjie who claimed that Abel once went to a staff party, stretched out his hand to a female staffer and said: ‘May I have a dance? I’m a corporal’). It was Benjie who once climbed into Abel’s room and made off with the corporal’s love letters.One afternoon, Abel came into the barrack-room and found Benjie loitering there. According to Benjie, Abel ordered him to jump through the nearest window. The barrack-room was on the top flat of a two-storey building.Benjie hesitated.“PIONEERS USED TO VOLUNTEER TO JUMP THROUGH THAT WINDOW!” Abel yelled. “JUMP!”Benjie eventually jumped, landing unharmed near a row of bitter cassava.BENJIE AND THE PL PILLSEvery Monday, all the companies were required to stand on the drill square for an hour for ‘muster’. This meant that on Sunday, shoes and boots were polished, clothes starched (with starch we made from bitter cassava) and pressed. ‘Muster’ meant that you would have to stand at attention while some officer inspected your company. Of course, there were the usual fainting spells.One memorable ‘muster’ sticks in my head. That was the time when ‘Benjie’ decided that he needed a ‘clean out’ before the big day. Someone forgot to tell him that military drills and laxatives don’t mix. So Benjie took two ‘PL’ Pills the night before muster.‘Ah drink two PL yuh know,” he said to anyone who would listen.So the big day came and we marched onto the drill square and stood at attention. To my left was a lanky pioneer we called ‘Tall Boy.’ ‘Benjie’ was in front of me. It began to rain. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw ‘Tall Boy’ sway like a coconut tree in high breeze, then fall like a log. Then, in front of me, Benjie began to emit some very strange sounds. ‘Purrrruuup….ppppuuurrrp…’The PL pills had begun to do their work.I watched as Benjie, his legs locked desperately together, continued to ‘puuuruuup’ in high and low notes. I silently willed my ‘squaddie’ not to ‘let go’ on the drill square. Somehow, he made it through the hour. I still wonder whether he made it to a latrine in time.GEESE’S REVENGEThen there was ‘Geese,’ who earned his nickname because his snores could wake up the entire barrack-room. He was a thin guy in his teens. He didn’t do well on the firing ranges, because he couldn’t hold the heavy Self-Loading Rifle we used.But I liked him because he had guts. The army and the GNS were always teaming up for military exercises, and,Cheap Baseball Jerseys, near the end of our Papaya stint,Cheap MLB Jerseys, ‘Geese’ was one of the pioneers who was chosen for ‘Operation Iron Weed’ at Tacama.I recall that ‘Geese’ was one of the ‘enemy’ and he was ‘captured’ by army ranks. However, he managed to escape.Every pioneer had a small padlocked cupboard to store his belongings. Some pioneers were experts at picking locks, and soap, money, foodstuff and other items would disappear mysteriously from locked cupboards.One day, ‘Geese’ woke up to find that someone had raided his cupboard. He identified the thief and, as he confided in me, decided to teach the culprit a lesson.That night, after lights-out, no one heard Geese’s snores. That was because he was crawling along the barrack-room floor, under the double bunks of sleeping pioneers, until he reached the alleged culprit’s cupboard. ‘Geese’ then took the entire cupboard to the creek where we bathed. He then broke the lock, emptied the cupboard, stashed its contents, then dumped the cupboard overboard.For the next week or so, ‘Geese’ would sneak off to his hiding place and dine on biscuits, Milo, milk, and an assortment of junk food. The victim accused everyone else. He never suspected ‘Geese.’THE LEGEND OF ‘JOE PECK’Pioneers were assigned daily duties, and some were assigned to the baker shop and kitchen. That meant that they had access to scarce food items. It also meant that they came under the supervision of a chubby staff sergeant. They called him ‘Joe Peck’ and there were several lurid stories about his escapades with young male pioneers.‘Eddie’, the pioneer who was always falling in love and getting dumped, was one of the pioneers assigned to work with ‘Joe Peck.’One night, Eddie and ‘Joe Peck’ were chatting alone in the kitchen when the lights went off suddenly (Papaya was prone to long blackouts). According to ‘Eddie’, as soon as the lights went out he heard ‘Joe Peck’ whisper: “Where yuh deh?”‘Eddie’ said that he immediately panicked. He bolted, knocking down pots and pans in desperation to reach the door. In the darkness, ‘Joe Peck’ laughed.‘Joe Peck’ also ‘made friends’ with a pioneer named Luke.  He showered Luke with gifts. Luke bided his time and one night, he jumped into ‘Joe Peck’s’ room and stole his entire salary.One pioneer recalled seeing fat ‘Joe Peck’ waddling around the base with a cutlass in one stubby hand and asking: “Where Luke deh?”But Luke wasn’t around. He was out on Matthew’s Ridge sporting out Joe Peck’s salary. They eventually caught Luke and kicked him out of the GNS.After this training stint, I moved on to Itabu Training Centre, which was near to Bartica. I stayed in a house with about five other pioneers. One night some of my ‘squaddies’ who were working guard duty at night made off with three chickens from a poultry pen and a sack of flour from the store room. They curried the chickens and made about 20 rotis. A corporal got wind of the scheme and that meant that we had to share with him.But by then, things had begun to get tough on the centres. Food, especially flour, became scarce. Eventually, the centres closed and the National Service experiment ended.But sometimes, I meet up with old ‘squaddies’ and we reminisce on when we were boys just bent on having a good time.